in my atmosphere.

i havent been so happy for quite awhile. seriously.

like when i get good results i have no feelings. when i get smth i have no very happy outburst of feelings.

but God has recently opened doors and led me through 1 of them. and i can finally feel the sense of joy. the joy of the Lord that is poured into me. and this comes because i have given up totally control of my life to Him.

first thing. ministry. so i got through the vocalist auditions in church. and i was on the way to sing in main services in june. but i was suddenly pulled out in the midst of the training. apparently cause dennis wanted me to do more in creative side. at first i couldnt see it. i was like HUH, God why you let me go through the whole thing and take it away from me. i also couldnt see what more creative stuff i was gonna get. 

BUT THAT’S POINT, I DONT NEED TO SEE. GOD SEE AND HE KNOWS.

the week before conference, God showed me. dennis said he wanted to form a media team for hopekids and i said i could take on the video part. a few days after, i was at the church office and chee harn said he wanted to meet me after conference. yayy i think i will get to learn video stuff from him!!! (((:

during conference God reconfirmed and reaffirmed what He is teaching me through this. that He can give, but He also can take away. i will just have to have faith and trust in Him, always saying yes yes yes. the important thing is that i focus on what He wants me to do, and not get so attached with what i want and like to do. to also not be disappointed about the doors that have been closed but on the many many doors that God is gonna open. (:

next thing, I JUST GOT AN EMAIL FROM NIE TODAY THAT I PASSED MY PE TEST!!!!

the pe test was on the friday before conference, so i was stressed with the set-up and rehearsal later that day, whether i could make it to indoor on time. met loyld there and he told me it wasnt so easy and it was the second time for him, and many others also. with that warning in mind, i went through the test and screwed up some parts. lol. my thinking after the test was that it was in God’s hands, that the door was for Him to open and close. that i do not need to worry about my future cause its in His plans and control.

they said the reply will take 2 weeks. BUT IT CAME TODAY! AND I JUST PASSED! THE MINIMUM TO PASS! this has been God’s work through out my whole life. seriously. PSLE 253, it was the cut off to Anderson Sec. O Levels, i just made it to NYJC in first 3 months. A Levels, ABB, it was below the cut off i think, but i made it to NUS Biz. and now this. HOW AWESOME IS MY GOD! NOT TOO MUCH, NOT TOO LITTLE BUT JUST ENOUGH. 

He is enough. (:

things have been a little too crazy recently.

good crazy and bad crazy.

everything will settle down in a few weeks.

gonna take a break from hopekids in june. 

God will be adding more things to my plate as i move on to the nie group.

more creative production stuff to do in hopekids also.

moving on to another stage in life.

leveling up.

life is crazy. life is tiring. but life is a blast. 

let it burn brightly.

been lost in a particular area for eons.

feels like the time i was lost in LA and it was getting late.

i got on the wrong bus which i thought was right.

and it brought me to an undesired place and i was forced to get off at the last stop.

all buses had stopped by then. finally decided to cab back. 

the cost of the cab was crazy, the meter was jumping every second.

but that’s the cost i had to pay. 

to find my way back.

and i think i have finally found my way. 

and its beautiful. 

TYG.

i wanna travel alone. i miss traveling alone. 

just walking alone. along streets. along the beach. anywhere really.

walking along the pier in san francisco.

walking to and from McGill for school in Montreal.

along the coast in Zadar, Croatia.

and i have to go back to aussie-land soon.

soon. soon.